The apple doesn't fall far from the tree....(Happy birthday, Momma!!)

My mom used to love getting my sister and I to call her "Beautiful Mommie Dearest".

I think that helps explain where my twisted sense of humor comes from.

When I was younger, I didn't see much of my mom in me. I was always shy, and super sensitive. Mom is outgoing, sparkly, a force of nature. I seem to remember being convinced I was adopted at one point, because I felt so different from my family (and also, because I had just read the Babysitter's Club book where Claudia thinks she's adopted...all of you girls of the 80s know what I'm talking about).

But as I grew up and broke out of my shell, I started to see more of her in me. We have the same stubborn streak. We have the same weird sense of humor. We are outgoing and tend to get sucked into whatever it is we are working on. We can both read for hours on end. We have the same smile and the same eyes, although mine have more green in them. And we both enjoy a good margarita and movie night, although it's been a while since we've had one of those.


I am blessed in that my momma is also one of my best friends. I think that happened once I moved out of the house. It's a lot easier to talk about problems and boys and work and the latest boneheaded thing I did when I don't need to worry about being grounded because of it! Also, when there are two people so similar (especially with that stubbornness...), it's better for everyone else if they aren't in close quarters all the time - because when we clash? EVERYONE knows it.

She knows when I'm lying. Whether it's lying about where I was or who I was with or if I am doing okay or if I am trying to choke back tears on the phone, she always can tell. And she will NOT hold back on telling me the business. She knows how to give tough love, and while at times when I was younger I hated it, now I know it's exactly what I needed then, and it's still what I need now. And while I am sure I screamed at her much more than she deserved how much I "hated" her, and how she was "RUINING MY LIFE!", she managed to make it through my teenage years without locking me in a closet, instead displaying infinitely more patience and love than I deserved at the time. Now I can look back on those times and realize that she just wanted what any good parent wants for their child - the best world has to offer. And if she had to push me to get it, that's exactly what she did. I resented it then, but I wouldn't be the independent, strong, and resilient woman I am today without that. And I will always be grateful for that.


The only reason I would ever consider moving to Tennessee is to be close to my parents (and sister!) again. It's hard not being around them. I miss my mom so much sometimes....There's no one who knows how to make me laugh like she does, or who can comfort me in quite the same way. When my best friend moved to California, after I left her house the last time, I went straight to my parents' and cried on my mom's shoulder. When I was nervous about a first date with someone I wasn't quite sure about, she talked me down over email. I always want to share everything with her, from how work is going to my birthday plans to the newest guy I have fallen hard for. She's always on my side, just happy that I am safe and healthy, even if I have done something fairly (or, let's face it, EXTREMELY) stupid.


I have a lot of 'second' mothers, and I have the best aunties in the world, but nothing compares to a mommy. And mine is the best. And while we haven't always seen eye to eye, we have always loved each other, and we will always bring out both the best and the worst in each other, and really? I couldn't ask for more.

I love you, Momma! Happy [redacted] annual 28th birthday!
(You think I'd give her actual age? I'd like to live to see my next birthday myself!)

Happy birthday, Auntie!

Just a quick one - everyone stop in today to wish my Auntie a happy birthday! And then be jealous that I get to have dinner and ice cream with her tonight!

Thanks, Auntie M, for exposing me to fantastic music, and also for getting me addicted to The Princess Bride all those years ago (on laser disc, no less!), when I used to babysit and make mix tapes after the kiddies had gone to bed :-)

That's her in the bottom right, circa 1984. (And my momma is right next to her!)

Thinking randomly on a Tuesday...

☼ I have been having a lot of dreams set in my parents' old house lately. Very strange.

☼ My 10-year reunion is this coming Saturday. I got a new dress, and it isn't black, which is kind of a miracle. I'm sure I'll have some pictures of me and my friends lookin' gorgeous on Sunday, so I'll try to remember to post them :-)

☼ My birthday is next Monday! 28. Crazy how different my life is now than what I thought it would be. I have to say, I'm glad I'm not married with children as I always assumed I would be at this age.

☼ I have asked my Magic 8 Ball the same question every day for a week now. And every day it answers in the affirmative. That makes me happy. Not like I actually believe that it's seriously predicting the future, but it's nice to dream :-)

☼ Last week was the first week I haven't worked overtime since sometime in April. It's been nice being busy cause the time is flying, but it was also nice not having to work this weekend.

☼ My momma and daddy are getting into town on Friday!!! I haven't seen them since my birthday week last year, so I am very very excited. Even if I am going to be insanely busy.

☼ Part of the insanity? I just picked up another Sunday softball league. This one lasts through 8/15. My next team starts 8/8. I am hoping for no game time overlap. With at least an hour between games, since they are in different cities. I'm crazy.

☼ Speaking of softball, I took a line drive in the arm two weeks ago playing second base. It hurt.

I wish I had taken a picture of it after a few days. The bruise extended all the way up my arm, on both sides. I still have bruising and it actually still hurts a bit, two weeks later.

☼ Hoping I don't get any more disfiguring injuries this year.

☼ Also hoping work stays a little less crazy for a while. I don't think I can handle anymore crazy stress.

☼ It's been great for my diet though. Down 27 lbs now! WIN!

☼ As always, click the link up top to visit Keely, and find other random thinkers :-)

At least I come by it honestly....(Happy Mother's Day!)

My mom used to love getting my sister and I to call her "Beautiful Mommie Dearest".

I think that helps explain where my twisted sense of humor comes from.

When I was younger, I didn't see much of my mom in me. I was always shy, and super sensitive. Mom is outgoing, sparkly, a force of nature. I seem to remember being convinced I was adopted at one point, because I felt so different from my family (and also, because I had just read the Babysitter's Club book where Claudia thinks she's adopted...all of you girls of the 80s know what I'm talking about).

But as I grew up and broke out of my shell, I started to see more of her in me. We have the same stubborn streak. We have the same weird sense of humor. We are outgoing and tend to get sucked into whatever it is we are working on. We can both read for hours on end. We have the same smile and the same eyes, although mine have more green in them. And we both enjoy a good margarita and movie night, although it's been a while since we've had one of those.

The only reason I would ever consider moving to Tennessee is to be close to my parents again. It's hard not being around them. I miss my mom so much sometimes....There's no one who knows how to make me laugh like she does, or who can comfort me in quite the same way. I always want to share everything with her, from how work is going to my birthday plans to the newest guy I have fallen hard for. She's always on my side, just happy that I am safe and healthy, even if I have done something fairly (or, let's face it, EXTREMELY) stupid.

I have a lot of 'second' mothers, and I have the best aunties in the world, but nothing compares to a mommy. And mine is the best. And while we haven't always seen eye to eye, we have always loved each other, and we will always bring out both the best and the worst in each other, and really? I couldn't ask for more.

I love you, Momma! Happy Mother's Day!

Me, Momma, and Sara, circa 1985ish

RTT: Things to look forward to...

*Almost two weeks ago, I became Auntie Andrea. No, this is not a child of my older sister, saradoxical, for those of you who know her and would be wondering why she hasn't mentioned it. There's more on this soon - for now, I give you this lovely picture of me and my new nephew:

*My beautiful Mommie Dearest (yes, that is exactly what my sister and I called her until we learned better..) gave me an award. That'll be up soon.

*The entertaining and fabulous Jess also bestowed an award on my unworthy ass. A couple weeks ago, actually. I've been busy. You'll see that in the next few days.

*More posts from the 30-Day writing challenge.

*The semester is coming to an end. Only a couple more weeks. No spring and summer classes this year, so hopefully y'all will be hearing more from me.

*It's been a rough month or two, but things can only get better...right?

I'll give you the best of me, but you won't see the rest of me....

So, what better way to end a blogging dry spell than by jumping into the Spin Cycle? This week, Jen over at Sprite's Keeper asked us to pick out our favorite blog, and repost that.

Well, I don't have just one. So I'm rebelling. And these aren't necessarily my favorites, but ones that have some kind of meaning to me, or tell you the most about who I am. And I'm just posting a link, and a couple lines about why you should read it. I've picked up a few new readers recently (until I disappeared for weeks, probably) so this is as good an intro to the crazy but wonderful but terrible but entertaining world of Andrea.

Here goes....

"No, those are NOT my Magnum condoms...."
One of my most popular posts - it's how several people found me, after it was featured on Good Mom/Bad Mom. Reading back over it now, I still crack up. And turn red. This story has made the rounds, including at my work. Some things can really only happen to me....

So yes, been there. Done that. Laughed about it afterwards. Sometimes for years, because some of those stories just won't die....

But until tonight, I have never know true mortification.

"Crawling in the Dark"
My struggles, living with a chronic, painful illness. It's a side of me that I try not to show all that often - who wants people knowing they have weaknesses? But to know me is to know this, so here it is.

In the three years since then, I have been to the doctor more times than I care to count. I have had more blood drawn than seems humanly possible, and spent far too much money on medication and Icy-Hot. Not quite what I imagined my life would be like at 26.
I have been lucky.

"my first spin cycle"
This is getting posted only cause it's the first, and I just saw it. The topic was 'poetry' and I was apparently feeling quite angsty. In haiku form.

bitter.
three small words break me
again, pieces in your hands.
yea, well, fuck you too
(how can i still miss you?)

"and this is why i will never settle for anything less than everything"
My parents were celebrating their 30th anniversary. Of their engagement. It reminded me how lucky I was to have them, and their example. I can't say enough good things about my parents. I love them in ridiculous amounts.

Yes, my parents are that couple....The couple that if you are a stranger walking behind them at the grocery store, you will undoubtedly notice the way that when they are walking side-by-side, their hands just automatically find each other.

"The best I can give you is the worst part of me"
This was actually what I posted for my 'worst' blog as a spin cycle last summer. And part of why I had chosen it was because I was letting my guard down - which is exactly why I'm posting it now.

I AM genuinely happy for all the people I care about, but it just reminds me of my failures. And my failures? Not something I want the world to see. In this post, it's just me, being honest, and putting my heart out there for everyone to explore. And losing my usual cover of strength and independence? Scary.

"I barely have the breath to breathe"
Another honest post. It's odd that I will say anything here, but in real life? I hide it all.

Have you ever woken up one morning and wondered where the hell you were?

I’m not talking about that sinking feeling in your stomach you get after a one-night stand,
where you literally have no idea where you are, although that is part of this--I’m talking
about that sinking feeling in your soul when you suddenly realize you have no idea how your life got to this point.

"A letter to me, age 17"
Another Spin Cycle post - this was a free spin and I got it into my head that I should write a letter to myself, ten years ago. It's a favorite because I honestly wish I could go back in time and share this with her.

You aren't getting married in the next ten years anyway, and looking back, you'll realize that you should've just slept with him and at least had your first time mean something, instead of waking up after a night of heavy drinking on an air mattress after losing it to some guy you just met. (FYI - This might still happen. In that case, there IS a house alarm, and sneaking off at 6.30am? Won't work.)

"Hell yea, I have someone I love this Valentine's Day"
Yet another Spin Cycle. Jen makes me write better, apparently :-) I love this one, because it reminds me of how far I've come.

This year though? I'm forgetting about the past. This year, I am dedicating the day to myself, and reminding myself why I love who I am. I am celebrating me, and I'm gonna buy myself some flowers, and I am going to remember that I do just fine on my own, thank you very much...

What a year for a new year...

So, 2009 is just over 10 hours from its completion, and in what seems to be a growing consensus, I will not be sad to see it go.

Truthfully, there was a lot of good in my life this year. It's easy to look past that when I think about all the rough things I've dealt/am dealing with, but I can't honestly say that everything that happened in the last year of the decade was awful.

Overall, it was an incredibly challenging year for me - personally, professionally, scholastically.

By far, the biggest change in my life this year was returning to school after several years of working fulltime. In January, I dove into a full credit load schedule, not having any idea how I was going to do it, but planning on giving it my all. I ended my first semester back with a 3.57, and made the Dean's List. I also was awarded a scholarship from my college that will last until I graduate, and take at least a little bit of student loans off my back. This past semester I ended up dropping classes after an unrelated event caused me to completely lose focus, but I still pulled it out, and I finish the year as a college junior (9 years after starting college courses) and with a 3.42 GPA. Next year I plan on returning to two full semesters, and 2 courses over the spring and summer, and I am fully planning on kicking ass and taking names.

At work, I think I did a good job of staying focused and getting things done. Because of my school schedule, I ended up working quite a lot of nights and weekends over the last year, and spending many days close to ripping my hair out. My team has been shorthanded all year, and my desk showed the extra jobs I was taking on. It was stressful, it was crazy, but in the end, I know my work is appreciated, and I feel confident in knowing that I'm not only getting by, I'm building a career.

Personally, there were far more downs than ups. That's all I'm saying about that, other than at times, I'm surprised I made it through without having a full-fledged breakdown. Also, I have learned more about myself and what I'm capable of handling in the last three months than maybe the last two decades. And I've grown up more in the last three months than I ever would have thought possible.

So, 2009. Goodbye, good ridance. Thanks for the lessons, thanks for the memories, wish you woulda skipped over the shit luck. Won't miss you. At all.

2010, let's hear it for a fresh start and second chances. Try to not screw us all over too bad, k?

Happy New Year lovies! Tomorrow, resolutions? We'll see...

see you in chicago....

It's official! Middle-Aged Woman and I are officially heading out to Chicago BlogHer weekend!

So, you know, if you'll be around, speak up!

good news! and, tagged!

Good news first! I applied for a scholarship from my school and found out last Friday that I got it! Yay!

And the lovely MAW tagged me for this....I actually started it this morning, but kept having to go lie down cause I was tired or dizzy....it's probably the pig flu.

What are your current obsessions?

watching the trailer for Glee over and over, cause it looks amazing. Also, reading old American Idol recaps on TWOP which really soothes me for some reason. Don't know why. I'm a weirdo.

Which item from your wardrobe do you wear the most often?

Either my EMU sweatpants or one of my EMU sweatshirts. Pretty much, anything comfy, really.

What’s for dinner?

If I manage to motivate myself, chicken noodle soup and Sprite. But I have to go to store if I want that, so not likely to happen.

What is your greatest fear at the moment?

At this precise moment, I am fearless. Being a little delirious from fever and exhaustion probably helps....

What are you listening to?

The Glee trailer. Again.

What are your favorite holiday spots?

Wherever my family is.

What are you reading right now?

Nothing at the moment - I have a few books on hold at the library though, will be picking those up tomorrow

What is your guilty pleasure?

see 'obsessions'

Who or what makes you laugh?

who or what doesn't?

What is your favorite Spring thing to do?

The first night where I can take a long drive with the windows down and the music up. People wonder why I don't fly when I go visit my family in Tennessee....I think because long drives alone are one of the few times I really feel at peace.

Where are you planning to travel next?

Hoping to go see Becca in San Diego over Labor Day, but not sure if it'll pan out

What is the best thing you ate or drank lately?

Water, just a few minutes ago.

When was the last time you were tipsy?

for about three minutes Saturday night, right before it switched to falling-down, pants-shitting, bad decision-making, table-dancing drunk (for the record, I only did one of those things) It was one of my good friends bachelorette parties :-)

What is your favorite ever film?

Princess Bride, Sabrina, Say Anything, Shawshank Redemption

What is the biggest life lesson you’ve learned from your kids?

That they don't exist?

What book do you know you should read but refuse to?

I can't think of anything....I will pretty much read whatever is put in front of me

What is your physical abnormity/abnormal physical ability?

Abnormally long toes. I posted a picture of them somewhere.

What is your favorite color?

Blues and greens. All of 'em. <--- Same as my Auntie M

Can the people outside your car hear the music playing inside your car?

Probably. It's most fun when I forget I have the windows down and I'm belting out some Xtina and dancing in my car, and a car full of businessmen pulls up next to me and starts laughing....

My addition: In a perfect world, how many hours sleep would you get per night?

10-12. I love sleep.

And I'm not tagging anyone individually, because I am too tired to copy and paste in links, so I tag everyone, all at once. Win.

and this is why i will never settle for anything less than everything....

My mother, Tenn Lady, posted this today: This One's For You!

Yes, my parents are that couple -- the one that celebrates the anniversary of their first kiss, and their first date, and their engagement. The one that remembers the dates of all the milestones in their relationship better than most couples remember their wedding anniversary. The couple that is adorable in a way that is almost sickening (definitely sickening when you're 15, and already considered a weirdo at school, and you are trapped at Wendy's with your parents who are holding hands and being cute, while certain members of your class look on, already planning the attack on you the next day at school for being (GASP!) the product of a happy home and loving marriage). The couple that if you are a stranger walking behind them at the grocery store, you will undoubtedly notice the way that when they are walking side-by-side, their hands just automatically find each other.

My parents got engaged thirty years ago today....thirty years of a love that is still going strong. Thirty years of sharing a life with someone. Thirty years of raising two daughters (which could NOT have been easy....the two of us are a handful) and helping them grow into good people.

Thirty years that I have been lucky to witness almost twenty-seven of. And those years I've seen....well, they have shown me what real love is. What true love looks like. What making someone else a part of your life means. And to me, that is the best gift I've ever been given.

So, from the example of my adorable parents, I have learned that I will never settle. Whether it takes two years or twenty, I will find that person who makes me whole, who complements me without constraining me, who understands that while I am fiercely independent and wildly over-emotional, I really just want someone who gets me. And if I find a man who can see this, and if we end up becoming anywhere close to the couple my parents are, I will know that I found something real.

"Some people are settling down, some people are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies." (Sex and the City)

scenes from a family car ride....

[summary of the drive home from dinner]
My mom, showing me things in Cookeville, and pointing: And that's the senior center....and that's the senior housing...
Me, horrified: THE CEMETERY?!?!
::hilarity ensues::
Mom: No, the....the houses.
Me: ::laughs like a crazy person::
Mom: Do NOT pee yourself laughing in my car.