Another year older, another year wiser?

Well, it's official. I'm twenty-eight and the same age as my mother (although she has thirty years of experience behind her as well).

Looking back at the last year, I can only hope that twenty-eight goes better than twenty-seven did.

Don't get me wrong. I am a much stronger person than I was at this time last year. I've made it through some rough patches and done a fairly good job of it. I am more confident, happier, smarter....

But looking back....I did A LOT of stupid things this past year. I mean, a lot. I put myself in situations that I never would have imagined myself in before. I did a lot of things I'm not proud of. I let myself be fairly hedonistic and didn't think twice about over-consuming in any of the tempting areas I found myself. And while I had some great times, I also had way too many moments of regret.

I've learned from the mistakes. Yet I repeat them over and over again. This past weekend is a prime example - I acted without thinking and made some choices that I, once again, am finding myself regretting. I can't take it back and I can't dwell on it, so I've come up with a new plan: REALLY learn from it. I won't beat myself up over anything I've done - good or bad, they were my choices - but I will remember how I feel right now, and how I made other people feel, and I will remember that sometimes it pays to take a step back and look at the big picture.

So, twenty-seven? Went out with a bang.Twenty-eight? I expect to be a much more gentle ride. I'm looking forward to it.

So this is the New Year...and I have no resolution..

January 1.
Another new year, another list of promises for me to break by January 2.
Another year of setting myself up for disappointment.
Another year of guaranteeing failure.

Wait. What?

I hate New Year's resolutions. I always used to make them, quickly following that with breaking them (record? Three resolutions broken by 12:04am.)

This year, I am bucking that tradition. I am not making any resolutions. Instead, I will share with you my goals for the foreseeable future. This list would be the same even if it was some arbitrary date on the calendar, rather than a new year, fresh start, etc.

1 - Keep my focus. Fall semester I had a lot on my plate, personally, and I lost focus both at school and at work. I don't think my performance suffered that much, but I prefer to give 100% and I found it difficult the last few months. So I would like to learn how to tune out everything else and just power through the task at hand.

2 - Stay organized. Starting that one today with cleaning. I bought a new desk for my room that will be better suited for my laptop than the one I currently have (which means soon I will no longer be hunched over my coffee table trying to type) and I want to get that set up before school starts next week. I think I will feel a lot more sane if I can declutter and make my room somewhere I want to be.

3 - Kick ass at school. I've got two years to go and I want to graduate with honors. I know I can rock a 4.0 if I try hard enough, but I am setting a goal of graduating with a 3.6 or higher so I don't kick my own ass if I have a hard time in a class or two.

4 - Stop making so many bad choices. Helped along by the fact that I'm not drinking.

5 - Get myself back into gear. I have been slacking for far too long. I'm lethargic and lazy and I need to remember how good it feels to move. I'm not setting a goal of losing x amount of weight or going to the gym x times a week, but I need to do something to get out of a chair. It's hard with 40 hours at work and 13 credit hours of school, plus homework, but I need to start giving myself breaks and just getting up and stretching or going for a walk or something. That'll help with my RA as well, which is equally important.

6 - Don't settle for anything less than what I want. I've done that a few too many times recently, and it never ended well. Whether it's relationships, career, school, whatever, I need to remember what I want, and not try to convince myself that something else will be a good backup choice. I'm better than that.

7 - Keep my head up. I had a rough few months, but I'm working through it and I'm starting to feel like myself again. No matter what happens in the next few weeks/months/years, I just have to remember that I am a fantastic person, and I have fantastic people in my life, and no matter what the world throws at me, I have the strength to get through it. And if I somehow can't find the strength within myself, I have twenty people right next to me, ready to pick me up if I find myself at the lowest of lows again.

I think that's about it, at least for now. I'm sure I'll add to this in the next few weeks once I think of other ways I'd like to improve myself.


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