Every year, I watch all the other women at work get flowers. I hear friends talk about their plans for the holiday. I give advice to guy friends on good presents to get. And I wonder if I'll get my turn someday.
Most years, I turn Valentine's Day into a singles' night out. Get a little sloppy drunk, go out to the bars, maybe dance with a stranger. Have a couple shots, maybe exchange phone numbers and a drunken goodbye kiss, and then never hear from him again. And every year, I still have a hole inside of me, because I'm still unchosen.
This year though? I'm forgetting about the past. This year, I am dedicating the day to myself, and reminding myself why I love who I am. I am celebrating me, and I'm gonna buy myself some flowers, and I am going to remember that I do just fine on my own, thank you very much, and I would rather be alone and happy with myself on February 14 than stuck in a relationship I don't want, wasting money on a man I don't love, buying presents for a ridiculous holiday.
And dammit, it feels good.
What feels even better? Knowing that eventually, I'll meet someone who loves me as much as I do. It might take a year or twenty, but it'll happen. And even if it doesn't? I'll be just fine. Because this girl? She has faith in herself, and people she loves and who love her, and beyond that, everything else is just gravy.
So even though love can hurt, you must never give up your search for it. And if you get hurt twenty times in finding that one true, honest love, then it was worth it. There is always love in the world, and people who truly want it. The worst thing you can let happen, is to allow someone to take that belief away from you. They can hurt you, but don't let them have that also.*************
Go visit Jen and check out other spins this week!