Driving Round in Circles (2011, Revisited): A year in music

It was a roller coaster of a year for me. There were a lot of ups and downs, and a lot of changes. I lost friends I thought I'd have forever, and made amazing new ones. I struggled with how to balance my old life and my new life. I fought the thought of relationships and ended up falling into old patterns with people from the past. I decided on a huge life change, and made it happen. I said goodbye to people I love. I started a new life. It was a year of ups and downs, of heartache and hardening, of regret and release, but, for the first time in a long time, it's a year that ends with hope.

Here is my year and the songs that got me through it. I was going to post something about each of them, but there's some that are just a little too personal. I just picked some lyrics that were appropriate.

If you would like to download, here is the link. It's also published on Spotify.

Happy New Year to you all!

 

Lay Me Down – The Wreckers

So shut your mouth
And hold me close
We both know
It's better than being alone

Just Tonight – The Pretty Reckless

Just tonight I will stay
And we'll throw it all away
When the light hits your eyes
It's telling me I'm right

Locked Up – Ingrid Michaelson

Love, love, love is everywhere
But not a drop for me to drink
Tie me up and bind my feet
Drop me in and watch me sink
Like an angry apple tree
I throw my apples if you get too close to me

I Hope that I Don’t Fall in Love With You – Tom Waits

Well the music plays and you display your heart for me to see,
I had a beer and now I hear you calling out for me
And I hope that I don't fall in love with you

Fairytale – Sara Bareilles

So I sing and hold my head down and I break these walls round me
Can't take no more of your fairytale love

cause I don't care for your fairytales
You're so worried about the maiden though you know
She's only waiting on the next best thing

Set Fire to the Rain – Adele

I set fire to the rain
And I threw us into the flames
Where I felt something die
Cause I knew that was the last time

Bulletproof – La Roux

Been there, done that, messed around
I'm having fun, don't put me down
I'll never let you sweep me off my feet

Jar of Hearts – Christina Perri

I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
'Cause you broke all your promises
And now you're back
You don't get to get me back

Her Diamonds – Rob Thomas

Oh what the hell she said
I just can't win for losing
And she lays back down
Man, there's so many times
I don't know what I'm doing
Like I don't know now

Happiness is – Verve Pipe

Have you ever felt so out of place

That the smile on your face

Was to keep from cryin’

I don’t know how we get so out of touch

But I don’t want much

Just to keep on tryin’

Goodbye – Drive By Truckers

We were really great friends and I always thought
that it would be that way
Yet I wonder if I'd know you if the guy that I saw
last walked in here today

Gathering Dust – David Gray

I got no reason
But that I must
Maybe I feel
Like I've been gatherin' dust

Melt My Heart to Stone – Adele

Why do you steal my hand
Whenever I'm standing my own ground
You build me up, then leave me dead

Sway – Heartless Bastards

I looked into the eyes, the eyes of everyone I know
And the days go by wondering where to go
I was searching all, searching all the time

Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) – Green Day

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road

Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go

So make the best of this test, and don't ask why

It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time

Rewind – Stereophonics

'Cause change is okay

What's the point in staying the same

Regrets, forget what's dead and gone

If you could rewind your time

Would you change your life?

               

The House That Built Me – Miranda Lambert

You leave home, you move on

and you do the best you can.
I got lost in this whole world

and forgot who I am.

I’m Movin’ On – Rascal Flatts

I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons

Finally content with a past I regret

I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness

For once I'm at peace with myself

I have been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long

I'm movin' on

Second Chance – Shinedown

Sometimes goodbye is a second chance

Free and Easy (Down the Road I Go) – Dierks Bentley

Can't take it with you when you go so
Free and easy down the road I go
Someday I know it's gonna take me home so
Free and easy down the road I go

Home – Foo Fighters

Wish I were with you
I couldn't stay
Every direction
Leads me away

Are We There Yet – Ingrid Michaelson

They say that home is where the heart is
I guess I haven't found my home
And we keep driving round in circles
Afraid to call this place our own

On the Road to Find Out – Cat Stevens

Then I found my head one day when I wasn't even trying
And here I have to say, 'cause there is no use in lying, lying
Yes the answer lies within, so why not take a look now?

Again Today/Hiding My Heart – Brandi Carlile

Who's gonna break my fall
When the spinning starts
The colors bleed together and fade
Was it ever there at all
Or have I lost my way
The path of least resistance
Is catching up with me again today/

But like everything I've ever known
You'll disappear one day
So I'll spend my whole life hiding my heart away

Let the Rain – Sara Bareilles

And if I were fearless
Then I'd speak my truth
And the world would hear this
That's what I wish I'd do

Here We Go Again – Justin Townes Earle

Now I like to think that

I’m no fool for love

I can’t help but feel as though

I play one every time

Little Miss – Sugarland

Little miss, brand new start
Little miss, do your part
Little miss, big old heart beats wide open and she's ready now for love
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
Yeah, sometimes you gotta lose 'til you win

Fearless – Colbie Cailat

If it's between love and losing

or to never have known the feeling

I'd still side with love

and if I end up lonely

at least I will be there knowing

I believed in love

Many the Miles – Sara Bareilles

Cause I've had my fair share of take care and goodbyes
I've learned how to cry
And I'm better for that

Turning Tables – Adele

I can't keep up with your turning tables

under your thumb, I can't breathe

So I won't let you close enough to hurt me

No, I won't ask you, you to just desert me

I can't give you, what you think you gave me

It's time to say goodbye to turning tables

Further North – Jets to Brazil

This year took ten years to tell me that I’m alone again…

Everything here's about to break.
I'm one inch from all that I can take,
and it's beautiful and sad, but it's all that I have

Shake it Out – Florence + The Machine

I am done with my graceless heart
So tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart
Cause I like to keep my issues strong
It's always darkest before the dawn

Life is Beautiful – Vega4

Life is beautiful, but it's complicated.
We barely make it.
We don't need to understand,
There are miracles, miracles.

Skyscraper – Demi Lovato

As the smoke clears, I awaken
And untangle you from me
Would it make you, feel better
To watch me while I bleed?
All my windows still are broken
But I'm standing on my feet

What a Year for a New Year – Dan Wilson

Soon we'll be lying in our beds

And new dreams will fill our heads

And the old ones will be ended

Hope we'll forget about this place

Let it go without a trace

Wipe the teardrops from our faces

What a year for a new year

Could this just be the day, I think, when anything is possible?

Fall weather is here and it makes me listen to David Gray a lot...so here you go. 

Using only song titles from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions.

Pick Your Artist: David Gray

Describe yourself: Gathering Dust
How do you feel about yourself: Holding On
If you could go anywhere, where would you go: From Here You Can Almost See the Sea
What do you want to do right now: Debauchery
What is your love life like?: Dead in the Water
What are you good at: Forgetting

You know that: A Moment Changes Everything
What do you dream of: This Year's Love
If your life was a tv show, what would it be called: Silver Lining
What is life to you: Forever is Tomorrow is Today
What is the best advice you have to give: Shine

Day 11: A photo of you taken recently

This isn't *that* recent, but it's classic Andrea...

Me, rockin' karaoke and Heart's 'Alone'. And no, I do NOT require alcohol to sing. This is my sober (and incredibly exhausted) period.

Cheers, darlins!

Day 1: Who has just ONE favorite song?

For me, music needs to touch me. It needs to make me feel something, good or bad. It needs to hit that spot in my soul that simple words just can't, and connect with me on a level that I don't always get from life in general.

Today, I bring you two of my favorite songs.

The first is Falling Slowly from Once, which is an amazing movie and you all should see.

I find it incredibly beautiful. It's sad and hopeful and uplifting all at once. Sometimes it gets me teary-eyed, sometimes not...but I every time I hear it, I feel my heart fill up.



The second is Just Watch the Fireworks by Jimmy Eat World.

I love the lyric: "Here you can be anything, and I think that scares you" because it is so completely true. That point? Where you are at the edge of getting or being everything you want? It's terrifying. And the point where you can be yourself with someone? When you feel like you can drop all the layers and masks and just be you? Also terrifying.


(Ignore whatever show that is...Smallville? I just wanted a non-live version of the song)

I have a million more songs that I love, and are my "favorites" but they change so frequently it's hard to list them all. What can I say? Years of working in music stores, and many years before that of babysitting at my aunt and uncle's house and making mix tapes from their million CDs, and I am an avid music lover.

Tomorrow - favorite movie. Then and Now!

Spin Cycle: Me against the music

"What came first - the music, or the misery? Did I listen to the music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to music? Do all those records turn you into a melancholy person? People worry about kids playing with guns, and teenagers watching violent videos; we are scared that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands - I mean, literally, thousands - of songs about broken hearts and rejection and pain and misery and lost. The unhappiest people I know, romantically speaking, are the ones who like pop music the most; and I don't know whether pop music has caused this unhappiness, but I do know that they've been listening to the sad songs longer than they've been living the unhappy lives."
(Nick Hornby, High Fidelity)

Actual post coming as soon as I'm done writing it....stay tuned.

Another music meme.....

This is basically the one I just did, but I get to choose answers now. Which is a bonus, since music is pretty much everything to me. Got this one off of Middle-Aged Woman

The Song Which:

Reminds you of an ex-lover:
"Yellow" by Coldplay....maybe because it was the most overplayed song in the world when it first came out, but when I was with him, we always seemed to hear that song, or see the video. Just the first few notes of that song, and it all comes back....that was the first (probably only) guy I've ever come close to really falling for, and it doesn't help that we're still close and still talk often. People always say a first love never really leaves you, and I suppose that's the case here, even though it was never really love. At least not that kind of love...

Reminds you of an ex-friend:
"To Be With You" by Mr. Big. It's not so much an ex-friend as a friend that was taken long before his time. Someone who still crosses my mind to this day, even though he was killed over six and a half years ago. He was the one who renewed my love of 80s music. I could use almost any 80s song for this, really, but that was has a different kind of significance, as we always seemed to be a week off track with each other, although I know we both wanted the other at some point or another. I'm sure that for the rest of my life, anytime I hear the Scorpions or Great White, he'll be fresh on my mind.

Makes you cry:
"Hear You Me" by Jimmy Eat World. That song reminds me of everyone I've ever loved and lost. Actually, one of the lines from it will be one of my next tattoos ("so lucky so strong so proud" in case you're interested)

The only time I've heard that song and not cried was when I went to their concert this past July. And that was probably because I was actively trying not to.

Makes you laugh:
"If I Had a Million Dollars" by Barenaked Ladies. That song will forever remind me of youth group and long car rides and overnight retreats and singing along as loud as possible with my best friends. Guaranteed way to cheer me up is to either play that or start singing random lines from it.

You never want to hear again:
"100 Years" by Five for Fighting. A song so awful that I actually had a nightmare about it. If you don't remember it from the ten minutes when it was everywhere, here are the lyrics: This song makes me want to stab my ears out

Sums up your teenage years:
"Runaway Train" by Soul Asylum. Still one of my favorite songs, definitely was then.

You want to get married to:
First dance? Or walk down the aisle to? I'll choose one that would work for either, and I would use for at least one of those - the acoustic version I have of "Everlong" by the Foo Fighters. It's an absolutely beautiful rendition. It would definitely be a little less traditional than the standards, because I imagine if I ever get married, it'll be fairly unconventional.

Songs that make you want to "get it on":
"Come a Little Closer" by Dierks Bentley. His voice is just....yum. Anyways. "Green Eyes" by Coldplay...one of my absolute favorite songs. Maroon 5 "Secret." "Crush" by Dave Matthews. Although, obviously, I don't know about any of this from experience. Hi Mom.

You like to wake up to:
I wake up every morning to "Say It Ain't So" by Weezer, as it's my ringtone and therefore my alarm. That works for me.

You like out of your parents' collection:
Anything from the Beatles.

Wouldn't know about if it weren't for a friend:
"Sunday" by Bloc Party. One of my newest favorite lyrics is from here - "When I'm with you, I am calm, I'm a pearl in your oyster...Head on my chest, a silent smile, a private kind of happiness. You see giant proclamations are all very well, but our love is louder than words." Sigh. Why don't men that write lyrics like that exist in my world? The lovely accent doesn't hurt either.

You want at your funeral:
"Let it Be." The Beatles.

Closer....(iTunes meme)

1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3.YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Firefight
(great song. <3 jimmy. lyrics sorta make sense for this)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL ?
Any Way You Want It
(so I want to be spoiled? or I just want Steve Perry? (80’s style...not so much now))

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Why Worry?
(ok, this is maybe exactly what I needed.)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Bootylicious
(mmmkay.)

WHATS YOUR MOTTO?
Smile
(well, yea...)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
The Luckiest
(hope not, cause if I’m the luckiest, everyone else must be screwed....)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Outside
(well, I like to be outside..)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BESTESTS?
Look After You
(I don’t know if that’s in a good, got-your-back way, or in a creepers stalker way...)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Toxic
(HA! I just almost spit out coffee. This is waaaaay too appropriate)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Heaven Forbid
(heh, yea, kinda, I guess)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Satan is My Master
(oh, ben folds. you and your crazy songs)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Hate Me
(that makes me a little blue)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Never There
(well, yea, I suppose that’s true, since they live 600 miles away....)

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Don’t Waste Your Heart On Me
(heh, that’s a divorce waiting to happen, methinks)

YOUR FUNERAL?
Keep Breathing
(heh. that seems a little inappropriate)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Gathering Dust
(HA! Again, almost spit out coffee)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Love Ain’t Worth Making
(so true....)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Wreck of the Day
(......yea)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Lay Me Down
(that’s probably inappropriate...)

WHAT DO YOU SEE YOURSELF DOING IN 10 YEARS?
Push
(does that mean I’ll be having a baby? or just a beat down car?)

WHAT DOES NEXT YEAR HAVE IN STORE FOR ME?
Brace Yourself
(not so encouraging)

WHAT DOES YOUR LOVE LIFE LOOK LIKE?
When the Heartache Ends
(true but sad.....)

WHAT DO I SAY WHEN LIFE GETS HARD?
Let It Be
(weird how that came up....it’s the true. on bad days I listen to that on repeat for hours. especially at work)

WHAT DO YOU WANT AS A CAREER?
Perfect Girl
(......riiiiiight)

YOUR FAVORITE SAYING?
Never Leave Your Heart Alone
(I’ll run with that)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
You Could Be Happy
(I hope they are!)

WHERE WOULD YOU GO ON A FIRST DATE?
Runaway Train
(well, that could be interesting...)

DESCRIBE YOURSELF.
Breakable
(haha. yea, I think I’ve proven that with my wide assortment of injuries...)

WHAT IS THE THING I LIKE DOING MOST?
Gotta Go My Own Way
(don’t laugh...it’s from High School Musical. 2.)

THE SONG THAT BEST DESCRIBES THE PRESIDENT?
Sorry About That
(hehehe.)

HOW WILL I DIE?
Hurt
(god, I hope not. I prefer a painless death...)

REMINDS YOU OF AN EX-LOVER...
Kiss the Rain
(um. yes. definitely)

REMINDS YOU OF AN EX-FRIEND...
Mess
(yep)

MAKES YOU CRY...
Delicate
(yea, Damien Rice does that to me)

MAKES YOU LAUGH...
Just Watch the Fireworks
(no, not really)

YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED TO..
Wise Up
(HA!! Coffee on the monitor again....)

YOU WILL WAKE UP TO...
Let Go
(eh, nothing funny there)

WHAT SONG WILL BE THE SUBJECT WHEN YOU REPOST IT?
Closer
(not NIN version, thank you)