So, as I have mentioned a couple times now, I started seeing a therapist last Thursday. Tomorrow is my second appointment.
It's odd how much easier it is to talk to a complete stranger than it is to your best friends, sometimes.
I'm hoping this will be beneficial. More and more I look at my life and wonder how I got to where I am, and when I became the way I am. I wasn't always this cynical. I used to believe in true love and happily ever after. I used to let people in a lot easier. That's probably part of my trouble now. I've been let down, broken down, too many times to want to try again.
Maybe seeing her will help me understand why I go for the quick fix instead of something lasting. I'd like to eventually get past that. I'm sick of having these...moments. That's what I feel like every 'relationship' I've been in over the last several years has been - a series of moments that don't connect to me or my life or my heart in any significant way. I always have a foot and a half out the door, ready to run at the first sign of something more than the initial infatuation. Hell, I've let some great guys go, and pushed others away, because of it. At some point, I'd like that to stop.
And if talking my new therapist's ears off for the next few months helps, then that is what I'm going to do.
How to summon demons:
1 day ago