One day I'll figure out what I want to be when I grow up....

When I was a kid, I would reach for the stars. My potential career list included rockstar, teacher, garbagewoman, astronaut, archaeologist, gymnast, doctor, artist, and lord knows what else. By the time I hit puberty, I had started to narrow the focus a little more to things slightly more realistic - writer, journalist, teacher, or similar. When I started college, I knew I was going to be a writer. Whether it was a Pulitzer-winning journalist, or a New York Times best-selling novelist, I was going to make a name for myself.

Now? I may as well be six-years-old again, drawing pictures of myself, waving out the window of a spaceship.

When I started college again last winter, I was set on a business degree. After living through ups and downs for years, stability and practicality sounded good. I reasoned that even if I didn't have a lot of interest in a lot of the classes, I could fake my way through, and still do well enough to insure a graduation with honors.

Recently, I've been rethinking that decision. I've been thinking back to the classes I've taken that I liked - LOVED - and excelled in. I've been wondering if I'd ever get as excited about accounting or salesmanship as I did about speech and interpersonal communications. I've been realizing that I am not nearly analytical enough to get through another two years of business courses. And I've been reading the course descriptions for my upcoming curriculum, and already starting to dread next Fall.

And then it hit me - Why would I do this to myself? Why should I suffer through painfully boring prerequisites only to get to a program that is "practical"? A program that, as much as I've tried to psyche myself up for, I am dreading. I'm looking ahead a year and a half, and I can see myself just struggling to pass classes, trying to keep interest long enough to make sure I get a C. I can actually see myself being happy with mediocrity, and that? Is not something I'm willing to settle for.

A few months ago I started tossing around the idea of changing my major. Of getting out of the College of Business. Of never taking another economics class, or discussing legalities of contracts, or worrying about how in the hell I'm going to manage to pass finance and accounting classes. And I started looking at other options.

Yesterday, I made a [not-yet-set-in-stone] decision: I am going to change my major. I am going to get back to what I love - what I'm good at - and focus on Communications. And right now, I'm leaning towards a minor in Psychology.

The good news? This won't add any more years to my schooling. I already have a few of the prereqs covered for both of those programs. And looking through the class lists, and what I would have to take? I'm interested. I WANT to take Listening Behavior, and Intercultural Communication, and yes, okay, The Psychology of Sex. There isn't a single thing on the course lists that makes me shudder, or makes me question what I've gotten myself into - definitely unlike the requirements for that Marketing degree, which made my eyes glaze over just by reading the titles...

So, I have a plan. I'm starting to make the pieces fall into place. I've emailed the advising office, to make sure I didn't miss something completely obvious, and that my theory that I'll be able to do this in the same amount of time isn't way off-base. And I emailed the HR manager at work, to see if this degree will be any better or worse than a business degree. From conversations before I started school, it'll be fine, but I want to make sure before I commit to anything.

Right now I'm in hold, but I can't wait to figure out if this is the way to go. I'm moving forward, and at the moment, that's really all that matters.

RTT: Spring is coming and I'm invincible.

*Spring is in the air. It's slightly less cold when I wake up at 4.30am to go to the gym. It's making it slightly more bearable to leave my warm, cozy bed. And by the time I drive to work? I can hear birds singing. And the sun is shining. Love.

*Spring is my co-favorite season with autumn. Spring because of new beginnings. A clean slate. Everything is new and fresh. I always believed that if I ever fell in love, it would happen in the springtime. Not counting on it this year, but we'll see how next year goes.

*For the last week and a half I have been unstoppable. Nothing's getting me down. Sure, I have things I'm stressed about, as always, but for the first time in a really, really, REALLY long time, I don't feel like I'm drowning. And it feels damn good.

*What also feels good? Being 7 pounds down after my first week back on Weight Watchers. You can track my progress (and read what I think are funny stories) at my other blog, Loving Me Naked.

*I'm wearing a bright pink Snuggie right now. I only had on light PJ pants and a tank top, and I got chilly. Don't judge me.

*I have been re-reading some favorite books lately. Three of them are by Liza Palmer, one of my favorite authors. Every book she writes speaks to a different part of me, and reading all three, back to back? I feel drained and hopeful and exhausted and sad and joyful and inspired all at once. It's amazing. Eventually I'll be posting reviews of them, because they're that fantastic. Her second novel is called 'Seeing Me Naked' and was the inspiration for my new blog title.

*The other book I just finished re-reading was The Next Thing on My List by Jill Smolinski. Again, it got me thinking. If I had a list of 20 things to do by the time I was 30, what would they be? Finish school, for one. Hit my goal weight. Skydive. Hit my goal weight. Other than that, though? I have no idea. I always saw the big things for me happening after that age, if they happen at all - getting married, having kids....And those aren't things that I'm tied to. I guess I really don't have 'goals', just things that I would do if the opportunity arose. I wonder what that says about me...

*Meijer's Churned-Style Light Chocolate Moose Tracks ice cream? Freaking amazing. Totally worth 3 points a serving. Way more satisfying than just fat-free chocolate or something. Yum!

*Yes, I realize that I just went from what could turn into an insightful revelation into my inner workings, to raving about ice cream. It's just easier.

Softball + Lack of coordination = Bad idea. (Spin Cycle!)

Growing up, I was always athletic. Gymnastics, soccer, basketball, bike-riding and rollerblading for miles around the neighborhood...I loved it all. I was insanely flexible, in great shape, and had a good sense of balance (that unfortunately disappeared around the time I went from an A to a C).

That's me, in the center, back in my gymnastics days. I *think* I'm about 10 or11 here, but I could be way off.

 These days? Well, the flexibility died a long time ago (hence why I bought the DVD 'Yoga for Inflexible People'). Strength? To put it nicely, I'd be able to beat a kitten in a fist fight, but not many other things. And balance? Does righting myself fast enough to not fall over when I run into walls count?

I'm a klutz. I've accepted it. I also, up until very recently (see my new blog!), am incredibly lazy. So three years ago, when I started at my current job and heard about the softball team, I surprised myself by signing up. I think part of it was knowing that it'd be a way to get to know coworkers - I had just started, and I was coming off a job where I knew and liked almost everyone. I had played a couple intramurel games before, but that had been years before, and I was fairly sure I was going to be terrible.

So before the season started, I went to a practice with a friend's different team.
It didn't go well.

 

Do you love how I'm smiling? Yes, I am magical, thank you.

Anyway, the first year went as I figured. I sucked. I was terrible. By the end of the season, I was finally able to throw the ball from home base (I always played catcher, since it was the least important position) to the pitcher. Once in a while I hit the ball. I think I even scored a couple times. 

Season 2? I got promoted. Second base became my home, and while I wasn't good, I was improving. I started going to the batting cages, and making more of an effort to not....suck. When the season ended, I was fairly consistently getting hits, and occasionally making a decent play in the infield.

And this past summer...best yet. More of the same, just improving more and more. Sure, I have my off moments, and stupid plays, and mistakes, but whatever. It's a company team, it's fun, and that's all I really care about. We were regular season champions! Go Mud Dawgs!!

And I can't wait for the season to start this year :-)

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For more sports-themed spins, pay a visit to Jen the Incredible @ Sprite's Keeper!

Another little corner of the internet, just for me

So I don't bore my faithful readers (all 4 of you?) I have decided to make a separate blog to post my progress on my new weight-loss/get fit/get healthy/kick ass/etc mission.

You can find me at Loving Me Naked if you are so inclined.
(Yes, I realize that I will likely get some interesting visitors...)

That's all! More real, fun stories soon! This week is slightly less crazy than the last....52 or so.